


The Life of Game (director's commentary edition)

by sgwuo



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Smosh, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author Commentary, F/M, I wrote this when I was twelve, cringefic, heyyy kiddos want some mary sue ass oc and everything edgy/bad/awful??? uve come to the right place, i hate this so much honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 17:45:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10470564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgwuo/pseuds/sgwuo
Summary: cringy youtuber fanfic i wrote when i was twelve about everyone + like 3 ocs getting trapped in several video games, thought looking back on it and commentating unnecessarily would be fun, it was not, i wanna diethis shit is 41 pages long and i cant find my will to live in any of them





	

**Author's Note:**

> bold = commentary (me now)  
> not bold = actual things that i actually wrote when i was twelve  
> i know this is horrendously long but i wrote this on the notes app of my phone on the bus ride to school sorry about that

The Life of Game  **wow fucking edgy title there innit. i get it. its like the game of life but u switched the words around bc everyones life** **_is_ ** **in the game. clever. amazing**

A bit of everybody fanfic  **u mean a youtuber fanfic…….**

The first book in the Press Play trilogy  **… sorry, a** **_book????_ ** **(the trilogy was never completed bc i switched interests to… hetalia which was not much better)**

Rated M for the immense amount of foul language  **WEW LAD THATS EDGY**

Author's Note: I only own Fiona Mezalie, Skylar and Parker Moziah,  **notice how all the oc names are just a random combination of syllables that i thought sounded nice and actually did not** and how Ryan Terry looks in the story.  **thats code for i wanted to make him hot** I do not own any celebrities or Internet personalities. I wish though. Oh my god that sounded horribly wrong.  **AT LEAST UR AWARE OF IT**

Bonus! If you count how many swear words are in the story, I might just kidnap every non-fictional character in the story and bring them to you to have fun with, winkyface.  **FUCKING STOP ALREADY GOD UR LITERALLY TWELVE YEARS OLD YOU HAVE NO CAPABILITY OF DOING ANYTHING REMOTELY ILLEGAL**

Also, for Dan and Phil's POV's I will be doing British spellings even though I am American.

  
  


Fiona

 

I play video games. A lot. And I watch YouTube. A lot. But how is it that one day, I get sucked into the game world along with my favorite YouTubers?  ***sigh* it begins. a poorly concealed self-insert twenty something girl whose name i literally got from shrek comments on her interests**

 

It was a normal Sunday. I had just come out of the morning shower, all dressed up and shit. I was going to my cousin's wedding.  **yo thats not a normal sunday my dude thats ur cousins wedding** And I loved this dress, it was red and short with coils all around.  **fucken inconvenient that ur gonna wear that for a month straight then innit** I still had 3 hours until the wedding, so I decided to watch some YouTube to pass the time. I laughed at Pewdie's reactions on Amnesia, Toby's singing on Minecraft, and whatever Cry laughed at.

Then, it was time to go, and I closed the window for YouTube. I hadn't played any games, so why was there Minecraft?

Suddenly, a flash of white blinded me, and next thing I knew, I was falling into blackness, and I hit my head…  **wow what a totally-not-jarring-or-sudden transition into the actual story**

 

Toby

 

"INTRO OF DARKNESS THEN REDNESS THEN WHITENESS!"  **amazing, using caps to signify yelling**

I walked along the yard with my phone in hand. I was recording another vlog, and I decided to complain yet again about the lawnmowers outside my window as I record TobyGames. Before I knew it, it was over, and I hit the stop button. 

I decided to upload it later.  **WHAT IN FUCK WAS THE POINT OF WRITING THAT ENTIRE THING THEN** I strolled over to my computer, and... wait a minute there, why was Minecraft running...?  **because you left it on you absolute fucking walnut**

I sat down to investigate, but as I did, random whiteness blinded me, then I fell into darkness, face first.  **what in fuck is that**

 

Felix

 

I rumpled my hair one last time  **WHO DOES THAT** before deciding to sleep for a while. I had had a rough day, and some rest would be great. But then, I saw Minecraft running... I hadn't played that in years. So why was it running now? Oh well, probably opened it and forgot about it. But as I sat down, a flash of bright white, then black, then I felt my head hit solid ground…  **good luck with that shit fam**

 

Ryan  **OH YEAH THIS IS CRY BECAUSE I HAD NO SENSE OF RESPECT AND USED HIS (ALLEGED?) REAL NAME**

 

I pushed the on button,  **THE ON BUTTON OF** **_WHAT_ ** **CMON MAN DONT LEAVE ME HANGING** and proceeded to watch YouTube. It was rather strange, watching my own videos.  **why would u do that** But hey, some nostalgia never hurt. I closed YouTube and... what? Isn't that Minecraft? But I don't even play that game a lot…  **binch as far as i know u havent played the game at all fucking run**

A flash of white caught me off guard, and suddenly, I wasn't in my room anymore, I was submerged in darkness, falling, and then I slipped into unconsciousness...

 

Felix

 

I was the first to wake up. My head throbbed horribly.  **LIKE IT SHOULD AFTER DOING SOME ALICE IN WONDERLAND SHIT THROUGH A BLACK VOID** The first thing I saw was three other crumpled bodies, two guys and a girl. I recognized the first guy as Tobuscus, and I smiled. At least he would make good company. The other guy and the girl I didn't know. I decided to wake Toby up before anybody else. But then, something red flowed down my eye, and I suddenly became dizzy.  **my dude, how were u not already dizzy** I could only yell, "TOBY!"  **who… who does that** before I once again slipped out of the world.  **and into… my ass??? where ?????**

 

Toby

 

Well then. Note to self: tell physics to stop fucking up.  **i……. wow ok nice swearing for the sake of swearing i have never heard toby swear in a video at least why was i so horridly set against not swearing** I heard someone yell my name, and I struggled to move my body so I could at least get up. I didn't feel any pain, which was good.  **how did u not. tell me ur secrets**

Before he fell to the ground, a bloody-headed Pewdiepie staggered around for a bit. God, that's gotta hurt.  **YEAH NO SHIT HONEY** I crawled for a bit, then stood up. Besides Pewds, two other bodies lay crumpled,  **wow i sure liked the word crumpled** a guy and a girl. The guy had messy black-brown hair with a "sup" sweater  **how….. would anyone know what that looks like** and jeans on, and the girl had tannish brown hair and a red dress with a bow in her hair. Out of the four of us, only Pewds was injured. That's good, we only have one guy to take care of.  **SO UR GONNA IGNORE THAT HES INJURED AND MAYBE ABOUT TO DIE AND UR FIRST THOUGHT IS “OH AT LEAST ITS JUST HIM” AND NOT TO MAYBE MAKE HIM NOT DIE????????**

 

Fiona

 

"Hey! Hothothot! Wake up!"  ***through gritted teeth* nice…… reference**

"Hmmm?" I muttered. Where was I? The guy calling me sounded a lot like... Tobuscus? I opened my eyes. "Hey, aren't you Tobuscus?" I murmured. "Yeah, but that's not important right now, girl." I sat up. It seemed we were in some sort of open space, all white. I looked around. Two bodies lay crumpled on the floor.  **THERE IT IS AGAIN MY WILL TO LIVE JUST DECREASED A LITTLE** Two guys, fairly young, like about 25 or so. I recognized one. Pewdie lay in a pool of blood, and there seemed to be a small but nasty-looking gash above his eyebrow. 

I chose just about the wrongest time to fangirl.  **SO……. SOME DUDE IS ABOUT TO DIE AND UR FIRST THOUGHT IS “OH YAY MY FAVORITE INTERNET PERSONALITIES ARE IN THE SAME GENERAL VICINITY AS ME” FUCK OFF HONESTLY** I mean, yeah, Toby and Felix were in the same space as me, but still, Felix was injured!  **AT LEAST UR AWARE OF THAT** I rolled around on the floor squealing in excitement.  **PLEASE ORGANIZE YOUR PRIORITIES, FIONA**

"AHHHHH!"

Toby had a rather calm look on his face. Of course, he's probably used to this sort of shit.  **TOBY YOU TOO PLEASE GET UR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT**

 

Ryan

 

I woke up to the sound of a girl screaming, and in alarm, I jolted up. Where the fuck am I?  **the one normal reaction to this bullshit honestly**

A girl was rolling around on the floor squealing, a guy I recognized as Tobuscus stood nearby, and my best YouTube buddy Pewdie lay surrounded by blood with a rather nasty-looking gash. But out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a brown backpack.  **OHHHH HOW CONVENIENT** Toby eventually spotted me. "Hey, who are you?" he asked. "Hi. I'm Cry. But you can call me Ryan." The girl screamed louder. Probably one of the phenomenons known as fangirling.

"Well, we need to do something about him," I said, glancing over at Felix. I jogged over to the backpack. "And weapons," said Toby.  **why… would u need weapons at this point in time ur in an empty room thing with nothing else but three other people and the clothes on ur back** I lifted the flap. "Apparently that's taken care of."

Because inside were four guns, along with a medical kit. Perfect.  **SO…… NO FOOD?? WATER?????? ARE Y’ALL GONNA CANNIBALIZE EACH OTHER**

The girl had stopped squealing and stood up. "Sorry about that. I'm Fiona. Nice to meet you." She walked over to where I was, and lifted the medical kit from the bag. "My mom's a surgeon. Hopefully I can stitch Felix up."  **my dad is a computer programmer but that doesnt mean i know shit about coding, my dude** She then opened it, revealing a bunch of med shit.  **wow eloquently described** Fiona picked out a bandage, thread, and a needle, and began to work on Felix.  **i am arguably no surgeon but i am at least 90% sure u need more than that to stitch someone up like that**

I stood astonished by her precision.  **nani the fuck, if she wasnt precise would she just fucking kill pewdiepie thats it fic over**

 

Felix

 

I was trapped in a nightmare.

A big fat Servant Grunt was attacking Marzia. I tried my best to attack, but it only hit me back. Marzia was screaming my name, and I stood helplessly by the candle.  **where did the candle come from, what context is this in, please help**

Then, with one last rip of her chest, Marzia fell dead.  **gee fucking golly whiz aren’t you just the master of foreshadowing**

 

Fiona

 

Felix was muttering something in his sleep. 

"No... no... sluta... Marzia... stop... stop it..."  **wow random swedish words that u picked up from one (1) singular funny pewdie montage**

"What the fuck? What sort of nightmare is he having?" I asked. 

"Don't ask me," said Toby. "I'm not him."

With a sudden jolt, Felix woke up, panting.

"We need to get out of this place, now."

Then, all of a sudden, the world whirled around us, and we were in... Minecraft?!  **OH FUCK OFF REALLY**

There were blocks all around us. Like, you know, the usual Minecraft shit.  **no actually i dont know because i havent played minecraft in years**

"No. Fucking. Way." Ryan.

"Okay, physics, quit fucking with us." Toby.  **thats where the “tell physics to stop fucking up” from earlier comes in i guess, he got that squared away**

"We're in the game?!" None other than myself.  **YEAH NO SHIT HONEY**

I scratched the back of my neck, a habit I had when I was nervous or anxious. Which was to say, very often. That's why I have a big red stripe down my neck.  **im pretty sure skin doesnt work like that**

"Who are you?" said Felix, pointing at me and Ryan.

"I'm Ryan. I'm surprised you don't recognize me from my voice."

"Cry, bro!"

"Yup. And this lady here is Fiona. She stitched you up. Thank her at least."

"Thanks, I guess."  **“YOU POSSIBLY SAVED ME FROM BLEEDING TO DEATH,** **_I GUESS”_ **

I simply nodded.

 

Felix

 

I don't know how I knew. So don't ask.  **i can assure u that nobody was going to ask** All I knew is that this was very dangerous.

In my delusional state,  **my dude, u were dreaming, not delusional** I swear I heard a voice. It said something like, "If you survive, you may not be afraid of these games anymore, but if you lose, you die."  **wow thats anticlimactic i thought there would be a cool little rhyme here but nooooo**

Then I woke up to blocks everywhere. What the fuck?!

"I don't even... I can't do this, guys..." On any other situation, I would've laughed at my own pathetic self. But I had reason to be afraid. I told everybody else what the voice said, and their faces paled.  **im honestly more surprised that they believed u man**

"It was all fine when it was just a game, but... in reality?" Fiona whispered. I nodded, tears in my eyes. "I mean, of course, playing a game you could always hurt your leg..." She trailed off, smirking at me. I managed a weak smile. "...but now, we could die?" I nodded again.  **could u…..** **_not_ ** **die in the real world????**

The next few hours involved usual Minecraft survival stuff. Ryan got wood,  **how** Fiona crafted stuff,  **how** Toby built a house (which he called Fortbuscus II!),  **fucking get urself a man who can build a house with nothing but his bare hands i guess** and I gathered apples and saplings from the leaves.  **entire…. saplings** Soon, it was night, and we all piled into Fortbuscus II to rest. There were no beds yet, so we had to sleep on the wooden floor. Then, I heard growling. 

I looked around for the knapsack that Fiona had before, but it was gone. And just a few minutes before, she had it right by her side.  **what in tarnation**

It was okay, I told myself, the monsters couldn't get in here.

But what if we were on Hard mode? 

I didn't know.

And then, I fell asleep.  **what a good way to avoid ur problems: going to sleep. crappy fic pewdiepie gets me**

 

Fiona

 

I woke up in the middle of the night.

"Hello? Anybody awake?" I whispered.

Ryan answered me. "Yup."

"I'm going out, alright?"

His answer reflected a sense of urgency. "No, it's too dangerous, I'll go with you."

So he did. I took a sword with me and some armor.  **where did these things come from** Ryan took a bow and some arrows, and we walked to the cliff that our house was built on. I sat on the edge of the precipice  **ooooh big words** and gazed up at the pixelated moon. I heard Ryan sit down as well, and we just did nothing for a while. Then, I threw my head back and laughed. "What's so funny?" Ryan asked, a concerned look on his face. "Everything! Meeting you guys, getting sucked into Minecraft, seeing your face... it's just so funny, I don't know why, and now I'm asking myself whether I-" I stopped there. Way to go, Fiona. Way to fucking go.  **whether u what. WHETHER U WHAT**

 

Ryan

 

As I looked at Fiona, I noticed just how beautiful she was. Her brown hair flowed down her back, and her hazel eyes looked golden in the moonlight. And the way she scratched the back of her neck was adorable... wait, what? I don't like Fiona in that kind of way, I really don't.  **YOU HAVE KNOWN THIS SHITTY MARY SUE OC FOR A TOTAL OF TWENTY MINUTES WHAT ARE YOU D O I N G** Stop it, Ryan. If you ever get out of this alive, there will be tons of Fyan shippers just about dying at every move you make.

Now I have a shipper name for Fiona and I. That's just fantastic.  **HO HEY HETEROSEXUALITY**

 

Fiona 

 

As I snuck looks at Ryan, the thought came to me: did I really like him?

I had never seen his face before, obviously. He was actually quite handsome. He had messy brown hair that I supposed he never combed,  ***looks at rat’s nest* take me now** and blue eyes that shimmered in the moonlight. I don't know, he just seemed so... huggable...

Stop. Fiona. Just... no.

Even if I confessed my feelings to him,  **girl you have known this guy for a total of like twenty minutes fucking chill** Ryan would probably not feel the same. So I tried not to think about that shit. He is my friend and nothing more.  **ID ARGUE THAT UR NOT EVEN FRIENDS UVE INTERACTED LIKE TWICE SO FAR**

I began to feel drowsy, so I rested my head on Ryan's shoulder, and he carried me bridal style back into the house, dropped me, and snored.  **sorry am i missing something or is ryan snoring while standing up** I fell asleep soon after.

 

Toby

 

When I woke up, the house didn't look familiar at all. Instead of wood, the walls were made of stone, and nothing looked pixelated.

It looked so much like the real world, as we had come to call it.  **U NEVER CAME TO CALL ANYTHING ANYTHING Y’ALL HAVE TALKED LIKE THREE TIMES TOTAL**

Were we out already? But the voice inside Felix's head...

Whatever, we were free! I didn't bother to wait until the others woke up, I just screamed, "We're free!"  **WOW THAT WAS QUICK DID U NOT SPARE A THOUGHT TO WHY EVERYONES STILL TOGETHER IN A CREEPY STONE HOUSE THING**

Everybody jolted up at once, and took a quick double take. "Oh my god, yes!" Fiona squealed. Then, we rejoiced, jumping and hugging each other out of relief. 

But our joy didn't last long.

Just as we were about to burst through the door, it creaked open, revealing a boy about 18 years old, with tattered clothes and a lantern.  **this was supposed to be daniel from amnesia because i had a repulsion to anybody above the age of 30 apparently**

"Y-you're not monsters, are you?" he timidly asked. We shook our heads in disbelief. This could only mean one thing: we were in Amnesia.

"I'm Daniel," he said.  **what kind of chinese bootleg daniel is this**

 

Felix

 

Fuckfuckfuckfuck.  **… eloquently put, felix** That is just... I don't even...

I thought we were free!

No! 

Now we were in Amnesia! It was much more dangerous now. The chances of dying were much greater. Plus not to mention...

BARRELS!  **so u wake up in a creepy castle thing with monsters that could kill u and all ur friends in one go and ur priority is barrels.**

"Fuck Felix! You scared me!" said Toby. I must have said that aloud.

Ryan maintained a cool expression while everybody else was freaking out. It was weird, like he'd seen this coming.  **spoiler alert he did not see this coming i just needed a way to force him in somehow**

Daniel lead us out if the room and into the dark hallways, before handing us several lanterns and oil. We lit the lanterns, revealing grotesque bodies laying around. 

"Oh, god," squeaked Fiona. Ryan covered her eyes for her. Toby glanced at a rock before picking it up. "There's my Boone!"  **so…. there are mangled bodies everywhere and your reaction is “OH LOOK MY PET ROCK” where are your PRIORITIES**

Meanwhile, I had a fist up, ready to punch.  **FUCKIN READY TO FIGHT** Then, Daniel held up a finger to silence us...

I could hear screaming, obviously a female voice. We sprinted towards the noise, and what lay before me tore my heart. 

A Grunt was there, and so was Marzia. She was bleeding everywhere, and the Grunt was attacking her with vicious cuts. 

No! This... was my nightmare!  **i am physically unable to take this line seriously. i mean, look at it**

Then, in a blind rage of fury,  **as in…. ur double mad?????? what is a “blind rage of fury” what is this** I lunged at the monster. It only hit me back, scraping a big fat cut down my side, and I howled in pain. 

Ryan, Toby, and Fiona pulled swords out of nowhere,  **WHAT IN TARNATION IS THIS LOL WHERE DID U GET THE FUCKIN SWORDS** and with a yell that sounded like "For Marzia!"  **wow uh…. great dramatic war cry there** they swung at the monster. I screamed, "SLUTA!"  **yes because screaming in a different language will totally stop anybody from doing anything** After many swings, the monster fell dead.

But not before it pierced Marzia's chest.

Marzia collapsed, and I ran to her side, tears cascading down my face in huge waterfalls.  **AINT THAT SOME SHIT MATE, WHEN UR EYES JUST BECOME FUCKIN WATERFALLS**

"Felix..."

Her voice was smooth and calm, as if she wasn't just dying right there. "Marzia, please, fight to stay alive, please!" "Just one last kiss..."

I slammed my lips onto hers.  **now i still have 0 romantic experience whatsoever but i am pretty sure thats not how u kiss people**

And halfway in, her skin turned cold.

That was it.

Marzia Bisognin was dead.  **kill pewdiepies girlfriend for the ~edge~ ok**

 

Fiona

 

Felix's face separated from Marzia's, and all of us, including Daniel, broke into tears. 

Felix stood, eyes red from crying.

"We need to give her a proper burial." His voice was shaky. From nowhere, Daniel pulled out a shovel.  **WHERE IS THIS “NOWHERE” AND CAN I PULL MY WILL TO LIVE FROM IT** We found a garden near the castle. "Marzia always loved gardens," Felix whispered, and the tears came again.  

Using the shovel that we had, we dug a small trench, and lay Marzia's body inside. Then we covered it up. Felix picked a couple of nice flowers to put on her grave.

Felix knelt by the grave and mumbled a Swedish prayer.  **as opposed to….. a normal prayer????** Then he planted the flowers.

That's when I noticed the gash.  **wot how did u not notice it before and also how has felix not collapsed from blood loss yet much less walked all the way to the GARDEN WHAT IS THIS WHAT AM I READING**

It was down his side, and his blue brofist shirt was soaked in red. I lifted the shirt to take a look, and immediately regretted it. There was blood everywhere.  **did u expect anything else honestly** I gagged, and pulled it down. When I looked at the others, they had their heads down in a melancholy silence. 

 

Toby

 

I could tell Felix was taking this hard.  **WERE U EXPECTING A GUY WHO JUST LOST HIS GIRLFRIEND TO** **_NOT_ ** **TAKE THIS HARD** His face was all red, his eyes were bloodshot. And he didn't even pay regard to the golden statue known as Stephano on the shelf. I picked it off, and gave it to him. I could tell it was now an effort to just smile. 

The joyful Pewdiepie who yelled at barrels was now reduced to a depressed Felix Kjellburg who yelled at everything.  **tbh be honest he always yelled at everything to start with, also where did the yelling come from hes all sad and quiet and shit mate**

 

Ryan

 

The next few days consisted of getting potions, gathering supplies, and making Felix drink laudanum. He would refuse every time, but we would remind him that Marzia would want him to, and he'd eventually give in. The laudanum healed him physically, but we had to give him sanity potion as well because otherwise he would grow insane from depression.  **i am pretty sure thats not how mental illness works dude**

In the worst case, he smashed his hand through the wall. It took 5 vials of sanity potion to calm him down.  **FIVE VIALS WOW**

Felix would make often visits to Marzia's grave, and he'd weep over the flowers. He added more every day.

Then, one day, we woke up in the woods. 

 

Fiona

 

I was being shaked,  **that is not how u spell that word my friend** and I drowsily rolled over. It was usually Ryan to wake me up, so I mumbled, "Just 5 minutes." But it wasn't Ryan.

I liked my sleep, even in the game world. 

So naturally, I pushed off the person on me and opened my eyes, and what lay in front of me was not familiar. I was in the woods, and three people stood nearby, one of which is Jordan Maron. "Oh, u-uh, hi!" I managed to squeak out. "FIMEZ!" said someone familiar.  **“WHAT SHORT AND ENDEARING NICKNAME CAN I GIVE MY OC TO MAKE HER RECOGNIZABLE TO OTHERS OH YEAH JUST THE FIRST SYLLABLES OF HER FIRST AND LAST NAME” GOD ITS LIKE IF I CALLED MYSELF ANPE OR SOMETHING**

"Skylar! Parker!"

We embraced in a big group hug.

After we separated, I asked, "What game are we in now?"

Toby answered me. "Slender."  **dude how did u know that just from being in a forest there are like 300 games where ur in a forest**

 

Before I go on, let me tell you who Skylar and Parker Moziah are.

They are my absolute best friends. We do everything together, from studying to watching Pewdiepie fuck up again and again. Sky and Park are twins, but aside from parents and YouTube, they are nothing alike. Sky is a very sporty girl who dislikes fashion, and Park is the exact opposite.  **WOW IF THAT DOESNT SOUND EXACTLY LIKE EVERY GIRLY-GIRL BOOK I READ WHEN I WAS EIGHT** They argue at least ten times every day, and it's always about something stupid. Take last month for example, they were fighting over who would be a better girlfriend for Logan Starkle,  **“WHAT DO I NAME THIS GUY WHO NEVER SHOWS UP AGAIN EVER. OH STARK IS A COOL WORD BUT WHAT IF I MADE IT SOUND LIKE SPARKLE” JESUS CHRIST** a guy both of them had a crush on.

 

But back to the present.

 

So I was freaking out again, but inwardly this time because I didn't want the Slenderman's attention.  **“oh yeah no biggie let me just” *SCREAMS INTERNALLY***

I glanced over at the others. Felix and Ryan are still asleep. Oh ho ho ho, I thought, time for a little fun.

I whispered my plan to everybody else and we nodded, giggling like schoolgirls.

We crept over to Felix and Ryan, and made our move.

"OMIGOD IT'S SLENDERMAN! THROW YOUR PANTS AT HIM!"  **SO U DONT WANT TO FREAK OUT BC IT MIGHT ATTRACT SLENDERMANS ATTENTION BUT UR WILLING TO SCREAM UR LUNGS OUT FOR A PRANK WHICH WILL ALMOST DEFINITELY ATTRACT SLENDERMANS ATTENTION WHAT ARE YOU DOING**

With an instant jolt, both guys were trying to unbutton their jeans and threw them at an imaginary Slenderman.  **did NEITHER OF THEM QUESTION WHY THEY HAD TO TAKE THEIR PANTS OFF TO FIGHT A CRYPTID** We were on the ground dying as Ryan and Felix realized what was going on. 

"S-sky, did you FILM the whole thing?!" Park asked. Sky was holding her cell-phone camera up to the whole thing. Ryan and Felix were already in a scramble to find their pants. And we were still on the ground. If we ever get back to the real world, we are so posting this on YouTube. "Pewdiepie and Cry without pants."  **MY DUDE I FEEL LIKE THE ENTIRE POINT OF THIS SCENE WAS TO MIMIC THAT ONE SCENE FROM A ONE DIRECTION ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE FIC THAT I READ WHEN I WAS TEN AND FOUND IT HILARIOUS FOR SOME REASON**

Though we would have to censor Cry's face.

Once Felix and Ryan got their pants back on, we hauled ass across the forest. We were careful to conserve the flashlight battery.  **WHERE DID THE FLASHLIGHT COME FROM IS IT THE SAME PLACE WHERE THE SWORDS AND THE SHOVEL AND MY WILL TO LIVE CAME FROM** Every time we looked back, I scratched the back of my neck. 

Then, my vision blurred, and I froze on the spot.

"G-guys?" Parker.

"That's weird, my vision just blurred." Jordan.

"Oh my god, me too!" Sky.  **wow i really did not like using the word “said” did i**

The rest of the team nodded in agreement, the same thing had happened to them.

That's when we saw IT.

The Slenderman.  **as opposed to….. a weirdly shaped tree???**

We screamed at the top of our lungs and sprinted across the woods, not hoping to be a victim of the notorious blank-faced suited creature. Parker was slower than the rest of us. 

Then, it caught up with her.

It was a horrible sight, so horrible that I'm glad that I was nearly blind at the time. I don't want to talk about it.  **“i could totally write edgy gore but im lazy and dont want to”**

What I will tell you is that it killed Parker Moziah.

Parker was dead. She was dead.  **yeah buddy she sure is lol** I just didn't believe it.  ***naruto voice* BELIEVE IT**

After the Slenderman left, our vision cleared, and there lay Parker's limp body, still dressed in the T-shirt and skirt that she was known for.  **my dude i know nothing about fashion but i am fairly sure someone super interested in fashion would wear something with a little more flair than just a t-shirt and a skirt**

"NOOOOOO!"  **i literally cannot take this line seriously………. why were u like this, 12 year old me**

Skylar lost control of her legs and fell to the ground, panting and weeping over Parker's body. We all sauntered  **OH YEAH NO BIGGIE LETS JUST WALK WITHOUT RUSH TO SKYLAR WHO LOST HER SISTER** to where she lay, and I tried to comfort her. "It's okay, she's in heaven right now, it's okay," I whispered.  **see this is ironic because when i was twelve i was well on my way to becoming an Edgy Atheist and didnt believe in heaven or hell**

In response, she whirled around and landed a punch on my eye, and I fell to the barren earth with a thud.

"IT'S NOT OKAY!"

With my one good eye, I looked up, and the sanity was gone. 

Reality was sucked from her eyes.  **uh thats……. quite a way to describe sudden insanity**

That was just plain awesome. Now we had two insane people to restrain again and again.  **AW SHITE I CANT BELIEVE WE HAVE NOT ONE BUT TWO GRIEVING PEOPLE TO CONSOLE WHAT A BURDEN UGH**

Ryan helped me up, and I groaned in pain. Felix was pinning Sky to the ground and that is not a very easy task, as Sky is quite strong after hours on the football field. Toby and Jordan stood by, watching over the whole thing.  **so theyre just standing there being useless got it**

For the second time since I entered the games, a black nothingness swallowed me whole.  **just fuckin say she went unconscious GOD**

 

Ryan

 

As I lay Fiona on the ground, her eyes closed and she fell unconscious. I planted a gentle kiss on her forehead.  **ur not planting SHIT on her HEAD buddy whats it gonna do grow into a beautiful kiss tree yeah thought not** I'd thought about if I liked her, but I was too afraid to admit it just yet. What would she think of it?  **well, logically, she should be weirded out by ur sudden confession after having known u for a total of a week**

I glanced at Toby. "Got any of that sanity shit? We're gonna need lots of it." Toby sighed and shook his head. "Apparently you can't bring stuff from one game to another." I sighed and sat on the ground and buried my face in my hands. 

Then I shot a quick look at Fiona... "Dude. Seriously."  **who said this. ryan??? another dude????? the ghost of michael jackson????????**

 

Jordan

 

I think Ryan has a crush on Fiona.  **u think. U THINK** The way he lustfully looked at her,  **THAT IS DECIDEDLY NOT HOW YOU USE THAT WORD** the way he stroked her hair.  **WHAT THE FUCK** The whole thing was just hilarious. Toby and I were dying on the ground, clutching our stomachs, and Ryan's face was redder than a tomato.  **if i had a nickel every time i saw this simile i would pay someone to wipe my memories of ever rediscovering this fucking fic** I whipped my cell phone out of my pocket and took a picture, and just when I thought Ryan couldn't get any redder, he did. We camped out in the restroom-looking building  **fucking ew do you have no sense of sanitation** and lay down, making sure to handle Fiona with care. We also locked Felix and Skylar in another part to make sure they didn't kill us in our sleep.  **nani the fuck where did that come from. god i hate the “they lose someone close to them now theyre insane hwhuhwuh” thing** And after that, our first  **and only** night in Slender ended. 

 

Fiona

 

I woke up in another game, and I recognized the camp as the one in Assassin's Creed 3. Dammit, I thought, my head hurts. Someone else was next to me, and I recognized him as Ryan. Just when I lifted my head up, someone pushed it back down. "What the hell?" I said. "Lay down," said Toby.  **was there no gentler way to do that. absolutely none?? are u sure??????** "You're in no condition to get up right now." "Aww. Come on." 

"Nope." 

Ryan was nearby, cooking something that looked like meat. Several soldiers marched in the distance, accompanied by the assassin.  **what assassin????? theres like five** Whoa, I thought, his hood is huge...

"SHUT UP!"

Is that a real voice?

Yeah. It sounded like Anthony from Smosh.  **OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE TWELVE YR OLD ME UNIRONICALLY LIKED SMOSH JFC**

Then, some laughing that I recognized as Ian's.

Well, as they say, the more the merrier.  **NOT REALLY CONSIDERING U COULD DIE PRETTY EASILY HERE**

"Is that Smosh?" Way to state the obvious, Sky…  **no sky thats the entire cast of fire emblem awakening YES ITS SMOSH LINDA DO YOU FUCKING HAVE EYES**

"Who else? I'm glad someone recognized us. 'Least we're not alone."

"Heh, yeah."

"Do you have any idea what we're supposed to do? Because we don't."

Then, I was interrupted by a piercing scream. 

 

Ryan

 

Felix stood on the edge of the cliff. I knew exactly what he meant to do.  **BRUH**

I didn't even know what I was doing, all I really knew was my legs were sprinting to stop him somehow. "Felix!" I screamed. "What the fuck?!" He turned slowly. "Life is just not fit for me anymore, don't you see?"  **that is DECIDEDLY not how anybody would react in that situation. FUCKING JUMP, FELIX, END IT NOW, ESCAPE THIS HELL THAT WAS THE RESULT OF THE WHIMS OF A LITERAL TWELVE YEAR OLD** There was a certain kind of sadness in his eyes that I couldn't place my finger on. 

Once I reached the cliff, I folded my arms. "Listen, Felix..."

Just then, he jumped.

I was quick enough to grab his arm.  **DUDE HOW DID U TELEPORT LIKE THAT, CAN I HAVE UR SUPERPOWERS SO MY MILE TIME ISNT TOTAL SHIT**

He looked up at me, and my eyes filled with tears threatening to pour out mercilessly. 

Everybody else stood nearby, watching. "Ryan, let go." "No!" Then, rage boiled up inside me, and with a big yank, I pulled Felix back up.  **WHAT KIND OF SUPER STRENGTH IS THIS IDK PEWDIEPIE IRL BUT HE CANT WEIGH ANY LESS THAN 150 POUNDS HOLY SHIT** And hugged him like never before.  **well, considering that you actually havent hugged him before, ur not wrong**

Once our embrace was broken, Felix tried again.  **“OH MAN THANKS FOR THE HUG BRO BUT I GOTTA END MY LIFE IMMEDIATELY DUDE”** But this time, Sky and Toby joined me in restraining him. "Felix, listen to me. We need you. Your bros need you. You can't leave us like that, understand?!" Felix had stopped trying to break free now, and nodded. I let go of him, and we embraced again. 

"AWWWW!" We immediately broke apart, and saw Fiona with a mischievous grin on her face. Fuck, I thought, knowing the apparent ship between Felix and I. Fiona smiled. "You have no idea how many Pewdiecry fanfics I've read."  **HOOOOOOOOLY SHIT CAN THIS GIRL GET ANY WORSE. “OH MAN I JUST WATCHED A DUDE TRY TO KILL HIMSELF TWICE BUT I GOT SOME HAWT YAOIZ OUT OF IT” CHRIST WHY** I blushed furiously. Why did Felix and I have to be a thing? 

Felix leaned into my ear to whisper something.

"Thank you for saving me."

It was my turn to smile as Felix made some sort of bowing gesture. "That's how Swedish people thank one another."  **that….. is DECIDEDLY not how swedish people thank one another**

"I figured."

I knew, right then, that we wouldn't lose anybody again.  **u have super speed, super strength, AND the power to read into the future?????? my guy, what cant u do**

 

Fiona

 

I couldn't help but inwardly fangirl at the bromance in front of me. So I kind of shipped Pewdiecry. So what?  **SO WHAT??? SO** **_WHAT?????_ ** **YOU JUST WATCHED A DUDE TRY TO KILL HIMSELF NOT ONCE BUT TWICE AND ALL U CAN THINK OF IS “LOL PEWDIECRY” IM GONNA KERMIT**

We searched in every tent that we found. Each one was empty of people, and we were able to take the loot. I felt like a thief without regrets.  **as opposed to a thief** **_with_ ** **regrets??????** I took several bags of weaponry. I'd also have taken some food but that was mostly stale bread and flavorless meat, so I decided not to. 

I heard Anthony's voice ring out from one of the tents. "Hey, so you got stuck here too?" Felix answered. "Yeah. Fucking sucks." 

All I really wanted was to wrap Felix in a huge hug and never let him go. I mean, he tried to commit fucking suicide.  **YEAH MAYBE U SHOULD HAVE REALIZED THAT EARLIER WHEN UR INSENSITIVE ASS COULD ONLY THINK OF PEWDIECRY**

I felt arms wrap around my waist, and thought it was Ryan. 

No, it wasn't Ryan who was embracing me, it was Toby, and he had tears in his eyes.  **FUCKING RUN GIRL** I shot him a questioning look, and he answered in a whisper, "I need somebody." 

I wondered what that meant for the entire day. 

 

Toby

 

I really did. I needed somebody to love, to be able to hold, to be able to trust. I felt that Fiona was that somebody.  **nani the fuck what is this love triangle bullshit WHY DID I PUT THIS IN WHAT IN THE ACTUAL SHIT**

I know it sounds cheesy, but those were my honest feelings.

"Hey, Toby, you alright?" Anthony tapped my shoulder. "W-what? Oh yeah, I'm fine."

As soon as I turned to face him, he cringed. I wondered what was up.

"Y-your eyes..." Just now I noticed. There was a slight sensation behind my eyes. Almost like a burning. I decided to go look in the lake, and what I saw terrified me.

My eyes were bright red. Practically glowing, I thought. Not the usual mellow green.

I thought I heard Fiona scream, "TOBY!"  **that makes two times that people have screamed his name** before I fell into the lake unconscious.  **is nobody gonna pick him out of the lake. IS TOBY JUST FLOATING IN THE LAKE UNCONSCIOUS. HE COULD DROWN WHY IS NOBODY CONCERNED**

 

Jordan

 

Toby fell into the lake, and Anthony had a horrified expression on his face and was clinging to Ian. I could tell something was horribly wrong. I tapped his shoulder, and asked what was wrong. "H-his eyes..." was the only answer he gave me. Anthony then ran, far away from the lake, dragging an expressionless Ian along.  **honestly idk much about what smosh is up to nowadays but im 90% sure its supposed to be the other way around**

Okay, now I was legitimately scared. If Toby had turned into a monster of some type, that meant we were in serious trouble. 

I could see the last of the sun falling from the horizon. Telling the others this, we made makeshift sleeping bags.  **OUT OF WHAT IS IT THE SAME STUFF THAT THOSE SWORDS AND THAT SHOVEL WERE MADE OF WHEN THEY MATERIALIZED OUT OF THIN AIR** I glanced over at Ian and Anthony, and immediately wished I didn't.

I've always been sensitive to blood. It made me queasy for some reason. 

Ian had some sort of wound down his back, and blood soaked his Pokemon shirt.  **how did u not notice this earlier and also how has ian not at least fainted yet**

I gagged, and my head started to spin. The only thing I could get out before full-out hydro-pumping the contents of my stomach was something like "Ian... back..."

Then I fell unconscious.  **doot doot doot. another one bites the dust**

 

Ian

 

I had always felt a burning sensation on my back,  **thats not how bloody cuts work mate** but whenever I had asked Anthony to take a look, he had always gulped and said, "It's nothing." But when Jordan squeaked, I took a look, despite it killing me, and let's just say it wasn't a pretty sight.

Now I knew why Anthony assured me it was nothing. He could be fatherly sometimes, despite his being older than me by only a month or so.  **guhhh thats not supposed to be a fatherly thing** He didn't want me to worry.  **THATS A PRETTY BULLSHIT REASON NOT TO TELL UR BEST FRIEND THAT THEY HAVE A GIANT GASH ON THEIR BACK**

"A-anthony?" It came out as a squeak, and Anthony came around to look and whipped off his shirt. "W-what's that for?" I asked. Then his intentions were clear as he began to wrap it around the bloody bit.  **WHY DID HE NOT DO THAT EARLIER ANTHONY IS A SHIT FRIEND JESUS LORD**

I heard giggling from behind. A blonde girl was holding her hand over her mouth, and had some sort of wicked smile on her face. "Is it weird that I find you extremely sexy without a shirt, Anthony?" 

He sighed. "I have a girlfriend for your information." "Heehee, that's fine. M'name's Skylar."  **SKYLAR IS OVER HERE BEING A FUCKING HOMEWRECKER LORD ALMIGHTY**

 

Fiona

 

I saw Jordan drop to the ground after clutching his head for a while.  **uh i dont think thats what he did** I knew he was a bit queasy around blood,  **how did u know this** and Ian's back was in no way helping him. I decided to carry Jordan on my back. He'd have quite a surprise.  **no, no he wouldnt**

God, he's heavy, I thought. But then again, I wasn't as strong as Sky. I lay him down on one of the beds, and he curled up. I smiled. Is it weird that I find Jordan cute this way?  **yeah its extremely weird please never think again**

I lay down on one of the beds and slept. In the middle of the night, though, during a dream in which I was back in the real world, a white flash caught me off guard, and blackness overwhelmed me again. "Argh, not again!" I thought. 

When I woke up, the setting was familiar. We were in New York, in the middle of winter. I wished I'd brought a jacket, but then again I'd never have anticipated being trapped in the game anyway. I saw a large neon sign that said, "Doc's Diner." Now I understood. We were in Fahrenheit. Indigo Prophecy.  **this is a game that like nobody knows but i think either cry or pewdiepie played it once and i liked the playthrough and needed an excuse to plop everyone in a modern setting so**

I kicked everybody to wake them up. Just something I always did whenever I slept over at the Moziahs'.  **FUCKIGN RUDE**

Everybody woke up and took a look at their surroundings. Then I recognized two familiar figures. 

"Dan! Phil!" They were drawing cat whiskers on their faces inside the diner,  **WOOOOOOW HOW SURPRISING AND TOTALLY NOT A 2012 PHANDOM TROPE THATS BEEN USED 748397320 TIMES** and I pushed open the doors to be met by a blast of heat. I hugged Dan. We were old classmates from when I studied in Manchester.  **WHOT THIS WASNT BROUGHT UP BEFORE** We weren't really friends, but we didn't really hate each other either.  **SO UR IMMEDIATE REACTION IS TO HUG HIM, OK THATS NOT WEIRD AT ALL CARRY ON**

But anyway, Dan giggled and clasped my hands as well. "Phil, this is an American classmate of mine, Fiona," he said. I let go of Dan and shook Phil's hand. "Nice to meet you," I said. 

Phil smiled. I was trying my hardest not to giggle at their childish Sharpie cat whiskers. 

Everybody else piled into the diner, and noticed that the only waitress was absent. They immediately hoarded the treats cupboard, and realizing how hungry I was, joined them in their hunt.  **THATS ILLEGAL PLEASE STOP** We found a bunch of things that were immediately gobbled down. Cupcakes, pies... anything really. 

Once we were done, we decided to grab coats from the nearby coat store. It was freezing outside and we didn't want to freeze to death. 

I felt thoughts creep up in my mind when I looked back at Ryan, and finally gave in. I loved Ryan, and there was no denying it.  **i still have 0 romance experience but thats definitely not how u fall in love**

 

Ian

 

I noticed that Anthony was missing, and immediately began to worry. Where was he? Was he okay? Could he be... no, don't even think about it. I noticed, before entry into the game world that Anthony was unusually quiet at some times. I'd seen his Draw My Life video and I knew he was probably having a panic attack.  **did u….. NOT know this before???? shit friend u are**

I searched the entire diner, and eventually found him curled up on the floor of the bathroom. 

"Anthony, are you okay?" I whispered.

He didn't answer, but only continued to bury his head in his arms. I realized he was crying. 

"Anthony, it'll be alright." I tried to reassure him that everything was okay, he didn't need to worry.  **thats not how a panic attack works, my dude**

 

Toby

 

I saw Ryan develop a concerned look on his face. I was beginning to become agitated as well, Smosh had been in there for a long time. 

Meanwhile, I noticed that lately Felix and Sky had moved on from the deaths that had affected them.  **what, that is not how grief works** Both of them were more focused on surviving now. I then remembered Gryphon back at home, the mischievous little shih-tzu's probably managed to climb the counter and grabbed whatever treats he desired.  **THE ONLY REDEEMING QUALITY OF THIS FIC IS THE MENTION OF A DOG**

Ryan crept towards the men's bathroom door, and slowly pushed it open where a curled up Anthony was revealed. Tears were streaming down his usually smiling face  **i am fairly sure he wasnt usually smiling prior to this** and Ian was by his side, comforting him and rubbing circles on his back.

I was reminded of the time I revealed in an interview that my mother had a lung disease. I had cried a bit, and when someone posted that part on YouTube, at least 90% of everybody who commented said something like "It's okay Toby, a relative of mine has the same thing," or "It makes sense when he cries, he's human." 

Now, seeing one of the two most subscribed people in YouTube crying, I couldn't help but rush over and join Ian in comforting him. 

Anthony still refused to budge. "He gets panic attacks," Ian explained. My mouth formed a small "o" as that sunk in. 

 

Felix

 

For the last few... games, I guess, I was a total madman, smashing my hand through walls and such. I wanted to blame someone for Marzia's death. I really loved her and I told her once that I'd be nothing without her. I thought she was in heaven looking over all of us.  **yeah shes probably going like “poor felix, stuck in a shitty fanfic misinterpreted beyond belief to fit the fav tropes of some kid writing this shit on the bus ride to school”**

I came to my senses in AC3. Marzia would want me to stay strong and try to survive. 

In Fahrenheit, Anthony was apparently having another one of his panic attacks. It took a long time to calm him down. I thought about how scared he might be. 

A long time later, we heard Anthony whisper something that made me freeze in my tracks. 

"I-I hear voices..."  **WOOOOW EDGYYYYYYYYY WELCOME TO MY TWISTED MIND ECKS DEE**

By then, Dan and Phil had joined us in the men's bathroom. They seemed quite confused as to why there were two girls where there were only supposed to be men, but that thought was quickly eradicated as they saw Anthony's state.

Meanwhile, I asked Anthony, "What voices?"

He told me what the voices said in between sobs. "T-they told me... someone would end up... w-with a virus. A computer virus."  **WEEEEEEW LAD**

Just then, Dan screamed and clutched his head. He fell down, panting. As he did, however, his form fizzled, just like a computer screen would with a virus.  **OH MY FUCKING GOD IM GONNA KMS I REALLY LIKED WRITING DAN WITH A VIRUS AND IDK WHY I DID. WAS IT SOME KIND OF WEIRD SADISM THING LIKE WHEN I READ TINTIN AND LIKED WHEN TINTIN WAS UNCONSCIOUS OR INJURED**

"Yup, we definitely know who that might be," said Toby. 

"Dan? Dan, are you okay?" Phil was on his knees, not daring to touch Dan.

"I HAVE A FUCKING VIRUS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M FUCKING OKAY?!"  **dan is the only person with sense in this fucking fic** Phil immediately lept back, and Dan, seeing what he'd done, collapsed. 

"Well, should we poke him with a stick?" said the shaky voice of Sky, who was behind me.

We did poke him, but he only rolled over and his form flickered again.  **why would u do that**

Phil had a terrified expression on his face, with good reason to be scared. His best friend had a fucking virus after all.

We searched the abandoned New York for a hotel or somewhere we could stay. I noticed Fiona was still in her red dress and she didn't have a jacket. Ryan was the one to wrap it around her, and she snuggled into him.  **WHERE DID THE JACKET COME FRO-- u know what i give up. i fucking give up. theres a point where u have to look deep into urself and say, “WHAT AM I WILLING TO DEAL WITH TODAY?”** **_NOT FUCKING THIS_ **

Meanwhile, I was screaming in my head, "KISS! KISS! KISS, DAMMIT!" I guess the amount of romance novels Marzia read got to me. 

Marzia… 

 

Dan

 

At moments, I could feel a massive headache come, and garbled voices sounded in my head. Phil constantly checked to see if I was okay, and every time I pretended nothing was wrong. After all, I didn't want him to worry about me too much, although he kind of already did.

I could see a relationship in the making as Ryan wrapped his coat around Fiona. Dirty fantasies filled my head as I thought about walking in on them doing great.  **doing….. what great, exactly…………. ACTUALLY WHY WOULD U FANTASIZE ABOUT THAT, WHY DID I WRITE THIS, WHY DID I WRITE THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN FIC, I HATE THIS I WANNA DIE**

Dan, there's no time for that.  **well at least ur aware of that** You need to find a good hotel with heating, too. It was freezing outside.

"Guys, I think I found a good place." Fiona, now having robbed the coat store for a jacket of her own, gestured towards the grand building.  **DO NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF WHATS LEGAL AND WHATS NOT**

Eager to get to heat, we dashed for the entrance, and when the blast of heat engulfed us, I swear it felt like fucking heaven. 

Our first reflex was to flop down on one of the leather couches and sleep the entire day away. After a long day of doing shit, it made sense that we were really tired. Anthony, however, was awake as ever and he decided to keep watch. I was apparently supposed to keep watch as well, but I was sleepy as fuck so I made Phil do it.

I figured I could stay awake for a couple more minutes, so I took a random card from the reception desk and took the lift to the floor. I was way too lazy to use the stairs.

Once I swiped the card, what lay before me took my breath away.

There were beds for each and every one of us. There was also a TV, and when I turned it on, real-world television showed.

Under the beds were boxes, large ones that had our names on them.   **BUT……. BUT** **_WHY_ ** I picked the one with "Daniel Howell" plated on it with gold letters. 

When I opened it, my eye first went to the Maltesers. There were two big bags, and I decided I would hog them all for myself.  **WOW WHAT A GREAT REFERENCE TRULY ORIGINAL AND AMAZING** The next item was an album of all the good times Phil and I shared. 

I was wide awake by now, and I sped down the stairs to wake everybody else up. 

 

Anthony

 

I heard Dan stumble down the stairs, and he yelled, "GET YOUR ASSES UP!" Everybody was instantly awake, by now they knew that anything like that would be very important. 

Dan led everybody up the stairs and into the room that he had randomly found. When he opened the door, we all gaped in amazement. 

Everybody dashed for their boxes, and I flopped down on my bed. I lazily felt around for my own box, and when I successfully managed to toss it on my bed, I lifted the cover, and what I saw tore my heart to pieces. 

Inside was many things, but the one that stood out the most was a picture of Kalel and I, at the party where we met.  **well…. at the time they were dating so**

Tears came to my eyes and threatened to mercilessly cascade out.  **I SURE LIKED THAT WORD DIDNT I** I missed a lot of things from the real world, but my beautiful girlfriend Kalel was the thing I missed most.

I looked over at Ian, and he had a picture of himself and Melanie, his girlfriend, in his shaking hands.  **ok im pretty sure i had never seen melanie at this point idk where all this came from** I had never seen Ian so fragile, and I reached an arm around him to comfort him.

 

Ryan

 

I decided not to open my box just yet,  **thats code for “i know nothing about cryaotic and dont want to bother looking stuff up”** and I turned on the TV. A report from CNN showed up, and everybody turned their attention to the HD screen.  **as opposed to a non hd screen????**

"There have been numerous mysterious disappearances throughout the country," said the female reporter. "Police are investigating where they could be and whether they are in a safe place." "Safe, my ass," muttered Fiona. The reporter continued. "It has been a full month since Fiona Mezalie, Skylar and Parker Moziah, Jordan Maron, Ryan Terry, Toby Turner, Jack Douglass, Anthony Padilla, and Ian Hecox have been seen.  **WAIT WHEN DID FUCKIGN JACKSFILMS COME IN, WAS NOTHING SAFE FROM MY UNHOLY GRUBBY GREMLIN HANDS**

"Mezalie and the Moziahs' families are offering a reward for any information regarding their whereabouts."

The screen switched to the American families.

"Fiona... " What looked like Fiona's mother said. "We want you to come home. Your sister misses you. I miss you." A single tear rolled down her cheek.  **you…... have NEVER mentioned her sister before what is this. also thats not how things work**

The screen switched to the Moziah's family.

Their father showed up, and spoke to the camera.

"Parker, Skylar, if you are out there somewhere watching this, remember that your mama and I are here. We want you to come home."

I heard Skylar whisper in a shaky voice, "Parker's gone, papa. She's gone for good."

Meanwhile, the screen switched to Swedish television. Subtitles appeared at the bottom of the screen.

"Internet personality Felix 'PewDiePie' Kjellburg hasn't been seen for over a month, and his fans and family are concerned for his safety. His family has contacted Swedish national police and they are currently searching the entire country.  **THE ENTIRE COUNTRY GODDAMN** Any information regarding Kjellburg's whereabouts should be given at this number." A telephone number appeared in white blocks next to Felix's picture.  **im fairly sure u spelled his last name wrong twice in a row dude**

British television came next, reporting on Dan and Phil's disappearance. 

"BBC Radio 1 hosts and Internet personalities Daniel Howell and Philip Lester have been missing for a month now. Their radio show has been temporarily suspended until they can be found. British police are investigating the issue and they have released a number 

to gather more information on the Howell-Lester case."

"Howell-Lester. I like the way that sounds," said Phil whilst smiling sadly. I realized then that my shoulder was wet, and Fiona was crying on it. "Ryan... I miss my family so much..." I couldn't help but hug her. What? I felt like she needed it. 

"If you don't mind me asking, Fiona, what about your dad?"

Her answer to my question was quick. "Dead. Died in nine-eleven."  **wow lets just use a national tragedy to cover up the fact that u didnt want to think of an actual cause of death**

I hugged her even tighter.

I wasn't about to let her go.

 

Toby

 

Jack Douglass? That means Jacksfilms is here too!

I saw Ryan hug Fiona and Fiona hug him back, and envy filled my head. Fiona should be mine. I was the only one who really cared about her!  **FIONA, FUCKING RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE**

Oh shit, there's that eye-burning thing again. Control yourself control yourself control yourself. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of the fire behind my eyes. 

"Shit, Toby! What is that?!" Jordan lept back a good few inches. 

Oh, shit, were my eyes glowing again? I started to hyperventilate, and Fiona and Sky hid behind Felix and Ryan.  

Suddenly, voices filled my head. "You're angry. You need to calm down. Think of happy things."  **CONSIDERING THAT VOICES IN UR HEAD ARE GENERALLY BAD IM NOT SURE WHY THIS IS A THING THAT HAPPENED**

I thought about Gryphon, how I'd use the baby voice whenever I was around him. Instantly, the burning behind my eyes subsided, and I flopped down, asleep and exhausted.

 

Fiona

 

Toby fell asleep on his bed, and we all decided to turn in for the night as well.

I had a dream that night. 

A suited man was standing in front of a glowing blue ring. He strode to me, and then... he fucking PASSED through me. I realized then that I was invisible.  **GIRL UR A GHOST WOW SPOOKY WOOOO**

I turned to see what was going on, and what I saw horrified me.

Two men, one of which was at the blue ring, sat in front of a big screen. The screen showed us, our crew carelessly thrown together.

"They're sleeping," said the white suited man. "This is good. We shall not change their room, but we'll change the game."

I realized that they were the ones controlling this horrific matrix. "Fuck you guys," I thought. Instantly, both heads turned my way. I froze, not knowing what to do.

Luckily for me, they didn't see anybody there and turned back to the computer, and pressed the button labeled "Imscared."

Shit.  **oh ya this is that one pixelated game with the face and the file manipulation. i thought the file manipulation was genius back then lol**

 

Jordan

 

I heard a groan come from the left side of the room. There was a new bed there, and on the bed lay Jack Douglass.

He was a horrible sight, but then again we all were. He was sleeping, but he was muttering, "It hurts... it hurts so much..." Jack's skin was covered in cuts and scars, some of which were still bleeding. Toby gasped. Jack needed treatment, like, now.

I searched the room for something like a bandage. Luckily, I found a first aid kit in the corner of the room, and tossed it to Fiona's open hands. 

She caught the white box, took out a couple of gauze bandages, and began to wrap them around Jack's arms.

As soon as she was done, Jack's eyes shot open, and he took stock of his surroundings.

As soon as he saw Toby, his body relaxed. Apparently they're partnered in some way.  **“in some way” what in fucc**

Dan and Phil developed questioning looks. "That's Jacksfilms," I said, knowing they didn't know who he was.  **GIVEN THAT JACKSFILMS IS A FAMOUS INTERNET PERSONALITY I WOULD BE SURPRISED IF THEY DIDNT KNOW WHO HE WAS**

We all grabbed some guns and knives,  **FROM WHERE** and headed out to the halls. We formed a back-to-back star, guns at the ready, wary of every sound that wasn't our own footsteps.  **WOW WOULDNT THAT LOOK GREAT IN A MOVIE SHOT EXCEPT THIS ISNT A MOVIE I LIKE THAT U DREAM BIG BUT ALSO FUCK OFF**

Felix farted, and every gun was trained on him.  **must’ve been a horrid fart then** He smiled innocently and held his hands up.

I giggled too, and the guns pointed at me. My first thought was "OH SHIT!" So I held my hands up as well. Mental note: don't you fucking dare make a noise.

We proceeded to creep down the hallway, guns up and ready.

 

Jack

 

Some girl bandaged my arms for me, and later I learned that her name was Fiona Mezalie. And for that, I was grateful. 

I was glad Toby was in this mess as well, in a way.  At least I wouldn't have to go through this alone.  **I MEAN EITHER WAY U WOULDNT SUFFER ALONE THERES LIKE TEN OTHER PEOPLE DICKING AROUND**

I looked around for any monsters that might be hidden in any of the tunnels. We crept through one... and heard all-too-familiar giggling.

Immediately, all of us that were facing the pixelated white face shot at it,  **whot where did the guns come from again** but it wouldn't go away.

We tried shoving past it, but it wouldn't budge. Finally, Ryan stuck a knife in it, and it fell. But not as the scary white face we saw. No, it dropped as none other than Cry's signature poker face mask, bleeding.  **WEEEW LAD THATS EDGY**

Shock crossed over Ryan's usually calm face. He picked it up, and... chucked it over his shoulder.  **what in fuck is going on anymore why did i feel it was necessary to write this in**

I don't think any of us had a fucking clue what went on. Here, we have Cryaotic, the man famous for his anonymity, and he chooses to throw it away. 

Just to do an extra good job of it, he smashed the face with the knife several times until it was nothing but shards of ceramic.  **but why thats literally so unnecessary and extra**

Nothing but silence. Then, Fiona gripped Ryan by the shoulders and shook him.

 

Ryan

 

Fiona was in my face now, shaking me. "WHAT THE FUCK?! Are you fucking insane? What the fuck did you do that for?!" I looked into those gorgeous hazel eyes that I had dreamt about for the past month or so.  **THATS NOT THE REACTION UR SUPPOSED TO HAVE WHEN UR GETTING YELLED AT DUDE**

I don't know what took hold of me, but I made my lips collide with hers, and it was...

I don't even know. It was heaven.  **this is code for “i dont know how kisses work”**

Fiona was surprised, I could tell. But she quickly warmed in. 

I wanted the kiss to last forever, but my lungs begged otherwise, and so I pulled back.

I decided right then and there that I'd confess my feelings to her, contained for so long, I couldn't stand it anymore.  **where did these feelings come from christ this is as sudden as the downfall of my grades**

"Fiona Mezalie, I love you." 

 

Fiona

 

... What the fuck just happened? Did Ryan kiss me? The man I had dreamed of being able to love?  **girl what the fuck did u fantasize about this or something**

I'll leave it at that, I guess...

 

Ryan

 

Fiona and I were speechless for a while.

Then, Toby lunged at me, eyes red with rage.

Oh, now I get it. Toby's eyes turn red when he's angry or something.

He pinned me to the ground, each punch directed at my head.  **how are you not dead, actually**

"You will not love Fiona! She's mine!"  **FIONA, HOLY FUCK,** **_RUN, RUN FAR AND FAST_ **

I realized then that Toby loved her too, and I had fueled his rage.

Well, I am most certainly fucked.  **that sure is a true thing u just said there buddy man pal chum pal man buddy friend**

Fiona stood by, hands clasped over her mouth and tears welling up in her eyes.

Felix, Sky, and Dan gripped Toby by the arm and lay him down on the ground, restraining him.

I couldn't even think straight.  **as opposed to thinking gay**

I lay on the cold, hard, stone ground, bruises covering my body.

I knew shit got real. I knew because Fiona was carrying my body back to our room, tears streaming down her lovely face, and on the way there, I fell unconscious.  **theres a lot of falling unconscious in this fic innit**

 

Fiona

 

I carried Ryan down to our room, hugging his lifeless body to my chest and tears pouring down my face like water out of a bucket.  **THATS NOT HOW CRYING WORKS**

The man who I had loved, the man who fucking KISSED me, now bruised and bloody.

But Toby loved me too.  **FUCKING RUN, GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HIM AS POSSIBLE**

The ocean of thoughts and confusion flooding my mind only made me cry harder. I was scared, and not because the game title made it obligatory.  **ha ha i see what you did there. i wanna die**

Once I pushed open the iron door and lay Ryan down on a bed, I brought the first aid kit over and bandaged his bleeding wounds.

I'm pretty sure my tears on his wounds weren't helping.  **pull some tangled shit and heal his wounds with ur holy tears of mary sue-ness**

I momentarily hated Toby for doing this to him. But that thought washed away, replaced by confusion messing with my head. So two guys love me now? Huh. I never thought I was a boy magnet.  **OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD**

I didn't feel like getting out, so I just crawled under my covers and cried myself to sleep. 

I swear just before I fell asleep, a hand rested on my shoulder and squeezed it. I realized it was Dan's, but instead of a solid body being there, there was a blue hologram thingy. The hand was real though.  **whot in tarnation** I, now exhausted, slept.

 

Phil

 

I guess Dan's virus thing gave him awesome powers of teleportation or something, because he just reached a hand out to comfort Fiona, who, in the fizzly blue image was crying herself to sleep.  **why did i feel this necessary to include. why did i write this, what am i doing, what year is this who am i**

The hand had turned blue, and squeezed Fiona's shoulder. 

Dan had a sad, mournful expression. I guess it was because Ryan was almost dead.  **BOI USE THOSE TELEPORTATION POWERS TO MAKE HIM NOT DIE THEN**

I wasn't in the mood of losing another member of our alliance,  **WHOA WHOA WHOA NOW ITS AN ALLIANCE??** especially when we've already lost the two, Marzia and Parker.

Eventually, drenched in tears, Fiona fell into a deep sleep. 

Dan directed the image to Ryan and zoomed in. 

The shaky voice of Toby finally came out. 

"W-what have I done?"

"Quite simply, you nearly killed Ryan because he kissed Fiona," I said quite matter-of-factly, crossing my arms. Toby shook his head. 

"I was insane."  **that sure is a true thing u just said there buddy man pal guy friend chum pal** He grasped his ever-curly hair and collapsed by the wall, tears in a waterfall down his cheeks.  **wow i did not know how to write crying at all** By now, Dan had turned off the supervision or whatever and hugged Toby. I really have no clue where that came from but we all let him, knowing that Toby's pain wouldn't heal on its own.  **NO JUST DITCH HIM ACTUALLY WHY DIDNT U JUST LEAVE HIM UNCONSCIOUS IN THE LAKE THEN LIKE 90% OF THE PROBLEMS IN THIS FIC WOULD BE SOLVED**

 

Felix

 

I had my head down while Toby was crying. I really didn't want there to be another loss, especially this being the person that I had killed so many times with a crowbar in games.  **THAT IS REALLY NOT THE BEST CHOICE OF WORDS TO USE IN THIS SITUATION** The possibility of losing him weighed my heart down by a ton. 

Dan waved his hand again, and the blue screen that showed Fiona and Ryan appeared. Fiona was asleep now, but the heavily bruised Ryan lifted his head to take a look at her. Standing up and groaning, he stumbled over to her and pecked her on the forehead, and whispered, "Sleepy boopy time, Fiona."  **what………… what the fuck……………… is this some kind of weird reference that i made like what is this**

Then, Dan gasped, and fell to the floor. It might have been another of his virus attacks or whatever, but this time, he closed his fucking eyes. 

FUCK.

SHIT.  **IS IT A CRIME FOR A DUDE TO WANT SOME SLEEP GODDAMN CHRIST**

Phil didn't hesitate to rush to Dan's side and check his pulse.

He stood up. "He's still alive. I guess he needs rest or something, so we'll do that now."  **WHY WOULD HE NOT BE ALIVE ALL HE DID WAS CLOSE HIS EYES FUCKING CHILL FOR A SECOND MATE**

We trudged back to our safe haven, unlocked the iron door, and lay Dan down on his bed. He curled up and sucked his thumb, and Sky let out a small "aww."

It reminded me of how Marzia would often sleep when I tucked her in. Another wave of sadness washed over me.

But then, I fucking swear I heard her fucking voice!  **WHAT IN HECK IS GOING ON ANYMORE WHERE IS THE VOICE COMING FROM IM SO CONFUSED WHY IS THIS FIC THE WAY IT IS**

"Felix. Felix, can you hear me?"

None of the others were as alert as I was, though, so I guess she was telepathically communicating with me or something.

"Felix, listen to me."

I answered back with my own thought. "Marzia?!"

"Yeah. Look, I'm back in the real world. With some help from a hacker friend of mine, I looked into what's in store for you.  **WHO IS THIS HACKER FRIEND WHERE DID THEY COME FROM ACTUALLY WHY DO U HAVE A HACKER FRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT KIND OF MYSTIC MESSENGER ASS SHIT IS THIS**

"You can't just die. That'll make you actually dead, in the real world too.  **I BELIEVE THAT WAS ESTABLISHED IN THE BEGINNING** There's a portal up ahead.  **UP AHEAD** **_WHERE_ ** It's heavily guarded by all of the monsters in every game that you visited. 

"You have to kill them all to get to the portal. They heal rather quickly so you'll have to be really fast.

Good luck, Felix. I love you!" Then a kissing noise, and I had the sensation of Marzia's lips on my cheek.  **wot how is that happening**

Well. Holy fucking shit.

"Wait, Marzia..."

"What?"

"Is Parker there too?"

"Yeah, she's staying at our place for now."  **wait……. nani the fuck. parkers american right. then how would she know or get in contact with marzia considering that marzia died before everyone met her like what is this THIS FIC HAS MORE HOLES THAN A SPONGE I HATE THIS SO MUCH**

My spirits were lifted by a ton,  **i sure liked using that word** and I looked over at Skylar. She had her head down, and tears made of pure joy streamed down her cheeks.

Jordan shot us a questioning look. I just grabbed the nearest person and shook him. I yelled in Anthony's face, "MARZIA'S ALIVE!"

Skylar hugged me around the waist, her tears soaking my shirt. "Parker too."

"WHAT?!" Ian screamed. "How do you know?"  **IAN WOULDNT KNOW OF EITHER OF THEM BEING DEAD BECAUSE THEY DIED BEFORE HE GOT TO MEET THEM WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT**

"She has fucking telepathic powers or something, but she's in the real world."

I continued to relay the message to the others, and we decided to get this thing over with as soon as possible. Each of us grabbed armor and weapons, and headed out with enthusiasm.  **YO WAIT WHAT ABOUT RYAN WHOS LIKE DYING OR SOMETHING AND ALSO DAN WHOS LIKE 10% DYING ARE YALL GONNA DITCH THEM THERE**

 

Jordan

 

I think we all had the same thought. Fuck yeah we're doing this!  **i think its worthwhile to note that i had ~le epic~ lord of the rings soundtrack playing in the background as i wrote this so i was unnecessarily excited about everything** It wasn't only to get back to the real world, however, it was for Marzia and Parker. I guess Felix and Skylar had even more energy now that they knew that their loved ones were alive.

We reached two Minecraft stone blocks, and we punched them to get to the view.

What we saw in front of us was horrific.

I'm sorry, horrific is an understatement. There was one of every single monster from every game that we visited: a skeleton from Minecraft, Slenderman, a Brute... The list went on and on.

"Well, fuck those dudes," I commented.

The others nodded in agreement, we decided to fuck it and kill them all.  **CONSIDERING NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY COMBAT EXPERIENCE WHATSOEVER I WOULD BE SURPRISED IF ANY OF U MADE IT OUT ALIVE**

There was a loud click as we prepped our guns,  **U MEAN RELOAD AND CLICK OFF THE SAFETY** and we started with the Slenderman.

"COME ON GUYS, LET'S GO KICK SOME FUCKIN' MONSTER ASS!" Ryan yelled,  **ryan arent u like busy dying or whatever** and within a few shots, Slendy was down.  **wait but if u had to look at the dude to kill him why arent u FUCKING DEAD YALL SHOULD BE DEAD**

We stepped out onto the battlefield and shot some more motherfuckers. Dan even reached his gun through his blue screen  **did u not have it before thats some shitty battle prep** and head-shotted a couple while saying "Fuck you" with every kill.  **WHAT IS WITH THESE PEOPLE AND SWEARING GODDDDDDDD AND ALSO HOW ARE U HEADSHOTTING THESE FUCKS IF U DONT HAVE ANY COMBAT EXPERIENCE**

I took care of the Brute and the Minecraft zombie, as well as the skeleton. "That's for killing Jerry," I shouted.  **oh ya that was jardons slime buddy lol**

We continued to kill a few more, but then... 

Phil fell to the floor, bleeding from his waist.  **FINALLY SOMEONE WITH A NORMAL REACTION TO BLEEDING**

Fuck no, please, God...

Dan was not hesitant at all. He grabbed the laudanum that had magically appeared by his side  **THERES A LOT OF MAGICAL APPEARING IN THIS FIC ISNT THERE GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH** and shoved the bottle into Phil's mouth, forcing him to swallow. 

Tears leaked out of his eyes, and we continued fighting. 

Now, there was only the pixelated white face.

That was down in like ten shots.  **WOW THAT WAS ANTICLIMACTIC**

A blue portal appeared. It showed our other sides: my California apartment, Fiona's New York City bedroom, Dan and Phil's London bedrooms... 

Dan wanted to wait until Phil was fully healed, and Fiona and Ryan shared one last long kiss before we all went through at the same time. 

"Ugh, I can't wait to get out of this dress," groaned Fiona. We realized it was probably really uncomfortable to be in that dress.  **why didnt u just rob a clothes store back in fahrenheit indigo prophecy to GET MORE COMFORTABLE CLOTHES. GOD WHY DID I DO THAT I FEEL LIKE I JUST WANTED FIONA TO BE HOT THIS ENTIRE TIME** Now it was bloody and torn, and we all thanked God that Fiona was wearing her bra because it was torn in certain areas.  **WINK WONK DAM FIONA UR BOBBERS**

 

Anthony

 

After drinking several bottles of laudanum, Phil was up and ready, and we all sprinted to the portal.  **WHERE DID THIS PORTAL COME FROM**

Felix and Sky went first. Before, we had exchanged numbers and email addresses and made Sky and Fiona promise not to leak it. They agreed, and so we had a communication system. 

Toby and Ryan went next, then Jack. Jordan and Ian went after that, and, leaving Fiona, I stepped through the portal.

 

Fiona

 

It felt extremely weird, being alone where I had spent a month with people. But these weren't just people, these were PewDiePie, Tobuscus, Cryaotic, Jacksfilms, Smosh, and CaptainSparklez, Danisnotonfire, and AmazingPhil.  **YOU COULDVE GOTTEN THE SAME EXPERIENCE BY GOING TO FUCKING VIDCON MAN THERE WAS NO NEED FOR ABOUT 10K WORDS OF PURE BULLSHIT**

I took one last look at the now empty room, and snapped a picture with my cellphone.  **is this the same empty room that u spawned in is this a full circle thing or was i just an idiot. probably i was just an idiot**

Then, I put one foot through the portal, then another.

A flash of white, then some children's jingle.  **WHY THE CHILDRENS JINGLE DID U JUST WANT TO MAKE EVERYTHING MORE CREEPY** Then black.

My eyes popped open, and I was in my pajamas. Finally. I was growing tired of that dress.

Was everything just a dream?

My cellphone buzzed, and I dragged it off the bedside table.

"Ryan Terry is calling"

No, it wasn't a dream. Everything was real.

I touched the green phone icon, and held it to my ear. 

"Fiona Mezalie, will you be my girlfriend?"  **WAS SHE NOT ALREADY UR GF WHAT IS THIS**

Silence. 

"Fiona? Are you there?"

Silence.

I broke it then. Through tears, I readily answered.

"Ryan Terry, fuck yes."  **I THOUGHT IT WAS ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT YALL WERE DATING LIKE TWO CHAPTERS AGO**

We continued to make small talk for another hour or so. Apparently Florida is in the middle of a heat wave while New York was like 70 degrees Fahrenheit. Just saying the word reminded me of the game.  **IS THAT FIONAS FINAL DENOUEMENT THAT WAS HORRIBLE WHAT IS THIS**

 

Jack

 

I stepped through the portal to be welcomed by my girlfriend crying on the couch. It tore my fucking heart to see her this way, so I thought it'd be nice for her to be all surprised and smile that amazing smile that had made me love her.

I tapped her on the shoulder and she almost karate-chopped my head off when she saw that it was me.

We kissed for a long time, to say the least.  **“BOO HOO IM LAZY AND DONT WANT TO WRITE AN ACTUAL REUNION SCENE”**

 

Jordan

 

Mark was in the guest room, flipping through the album labeled "Jordan Maron," the one that contained all of my photos ever.

Nick was by his side, crying on his shoulder and mumbling, "Jordan will come back" over and over again.

Ho ho fucking ho.  **THAT IS NOT HOW U REACT IN THAT SITUATION**

"Hi."

That one word turned both of their attentions towards the door where I now stood.

Nick barreled into me, knocking me down. I had thought of him as a little brother, and I thought no less of him now.  **AKA “I DONT KNOW MARK AND NICK AT ALL I JUST NEEDED JARDON TO HAVE SOMEONE TO COME BACK TO”**

 

Ryan

 

I woke up in my bed.

Was everything just a horrible nightmare?

I drowsily picked my phone up and scrolled through my contacts, looking for only one name.

"Fiona Mezalie"

It was there, all right.

Everything was real.

I pressed the green phone button which was now lit up, and held the phone to my ear. 

Fiona's lovely voice answered me on the other end. "Yes, Ryan?"

I was not hesitant to do it right now. 

"Fiona Mezalie, will you be my girlfriend?"  **SHE WAS ALREADY UR GF??????? REAL LIFE DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT???????????????**

 

Toby

 

The portal closed behind me, and the first thing I was worried about was Gryphon. Had he been starving the entire time?

Nope.

There was a sticky-note where Gryphon's food and water bowl was supposed to be.

"Hi Toby,

Your dog Gryphon has been taken to the kettle to be cared for. If you come back, please present this note to Helping Hand Pet Care, and Gryphon will be returned." 

Oh. Simple enough.  **HOLD UP SOMEONE BROKE INTO UR HOUSE AND STOLE UR DOG AND ALL U CAN THINK IS “SIMPLE ENOUGH” WHAT IN FUCK**

I gripped the steering wheel, unsure of whether my decision was rational enough. Turn up after being missing for over a month. Yeah, that's totally usual and normal.  **AT LEAST UR AWARE OF IT**

When I screeched into the parking lot like a baus I may add, the people's stares were the best.  **BECAUSE U SCREECHED INTO THE PARKING LOT INSTEAD OF PARKING LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON**

A lot of them whipped out their phones and dialed the police. I ran for the door, not wanting to be interviewed before I even got my dog.

"Yeah, this is Toby Turner," I panted, giving the note to the hothothot girl  ***through gritted teeth* nice……. reference** at the front desk. She nodded, smiling, and retrieved the shih-tzu from his cage.

As Gryphon snuggled into my arms, I giggled. I looked at the girl, and smiled.

I really liked this girl. She had silver hair and blue eyes, and her smile lit up the room. It sounded cheesy, like something from a romance book for girls, but it was true.  **OHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU INTRODUCING A NEW CHARACTER LITERALLY RIGHT BEFORE THE END** I slipped her a tip under the desk and felt her take it. Sandwiched between the two five-dollars was my number.

As soon as she caught sight of the white paper, the girl, who looked around 25, gasped. Shit, had I fucked it up?

Apparently not, because she smiled and kissed me on the cheek. I blushed and made a horrible poker face. I made a call me sign as I walked out.

Hothothot girl acquired.  **THAT IS NOT HOW U PICK PEOPLE UP AND ALSO WHY DID I FEEL A NEW LOVE INTEREST WAS NECESSARY THIS MUCH BEFORE THE END OF THE GODDAMN STORY**

 

Ian

 

I landed flat on my face, which I'm sure none of the others did. The first thing I heard was Melanie gulping down liquor.

No. She wasn't doing this. I won't let it happen. I lifted my head up, and saw Mel's messed up hair. Shit. That is not fucking good.  **that sure ISNT YOU FUCKING FROZEN TAQUITO**

I sprinted for the table, and, in a blind rage, knocked the bottle and shot glasses on the floor, glass bits skittering across the wooden planks.

Melanie looked at me with disbelief.

"No, this isn't real, I must be drunkenly hallucinating," she whispered.

I replied, "If I wasn't real, would I do this?"

And I picked her up and smashed my lips on hers.  **JUST STOOOOOOP YOU DONT KNOW HOW KISSING WORKS**

 

Anthony

 

I collapsed on the floor to be welcomed by Kalel sobbing. The sound seemed to be coming from the bedroom, and so I rushed to it.

I creaked open the door and was greeted by Kalel, my Kalel, crying under the covers. 

I slipped under and I pecked her on the cheek.

She looked at me, disbelief clear in her bloodshot eyes.

Kalel giggled. "You're shirtless."  **OH YEAH THAT WAS A THING THAT HAPPENED. wait did anthony go shirtless this WHOLE TIME, WAS HE SHIRTLESS IN SUBZERO NEW YORK HOW DID HE NOT DIE OF HYPOTHERMIA ALSO WHY IS KALELS FIRST THOUGHT “HES SHIRTLESS” AND NOT “MY BOYFRIEND IS BACK FROM THE DEAD”**

Then we kissed for a long while.  **UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STOP**

 

Dan

 

I fell through the portal, and in an instant all of my headaches were gone.  **that…... is questionable. like honestly what was the point of dan being a virus in the first place this fic makes me so mad what the hell** Could I still teleport? I tried waving my hand, thinking of my bedroom, but no blue screen came up. Phil sighed. It was good to be home.

I still had the Maltesers jammed in my pocket, and I thought that after all Phil and I had gone through, we deserved a treat. 

The first thing that came to mind was my phone. How much random shit had I gotten over the last month? 

"Dan, can I have one?" asked Phil, pointing at the Maltesers that I so dearly treasure.

"No." I pouted like a little baby.

Phil uses Puppy Eyes! It's super effective!

Finally, I gave in, and handed one to a happy Phil. 

 

Felix

 

All I could think about was Marzia when I went through the portal.

And there she was, smiling and waving like she was at the airport at Italy when I went there for the first time. 

I gasped, tears leaking out of my eyes. But, unlike the tears shed in the game world, these were of joy.  **i literally cant take this line seriously idk why**

I rushed to Marzia's open arms and let my tears soak her baggy sweater.  **THIS IS THE MOST NORMAL FUCKING DENOUEMENT OF THIS ENTIRE SERIES WHAT IN HECK IM SO MAD**

 

Epilogue

 

Fiona never wore that dress again,  **I MEAN WHY WOULD SHE ITS ALL TORN AND BLOODY RIGHT** and she moved in with Ryan in Florida. Felix and Marzia treasured each other more than ever now,  **did they not before?????** and Jordan and Jack kept close with their loved ones. Dan and Phil got back to their video-making and derping around on the radio. Toby eventually learned that the silver-haired girl's name was Jennie Marshall. It turned out that she and Fiona were childhood friends and were happily reunited.  **what. What. why would u introduce a new character in tHE LITERAL EPILOGUE**

Ian and Anthony went back to their own video-making, to the delight of Mari, Lasercorn, Sohinki, and Jovenshire. As for Skylar, she and Parker rarely fought anymore and became closer than ever. Parker tried track at her university and Skylar started reading fashion magazines.

The crew, or the Press Play Alliance as they dubbed themselves, communicated with each other very often. None of them ever forgot the game world.  **WHY ARE THEY AN ALLIANCE JESUS CHRIST I HATE THIS ENTIRE FIC**

 

~~~~~

 

Author's Note

 

And that's it for this book!  **THERE IT IS AGAIN, THAT CURSED WORD,** **_BOOK._ ** **I DONT WANT THIS TO BE MORE THAN A SINGLE PAGE ITS EVEN LESS DESERVING OF EVER BEING PRINTED ON A LITTLE SIDEBAR MUCH LESS AN ENTIRE BOOK** I truly hope you enjoyed it.  **sorry to break ur innocent lil heart but i did not. this was bullshit** I'll get this up on Deviantart or Fanfiction or some shit like that,  **THANK GOD I NEVER DID THAT OR ELSE I WOULD NEVER LIVE IT DOWN** should people want it enough I might even do a dramatic reading and post it on YouTube.  **NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT DO THAT DONT DO THAT**

Anyway, this is Fuzzlecakes,  **OH MY GOD YEAH MY EDGY ALIAS “WHATTHEFUZZLECAKES” WAS AN INSIDE JOKE BETWEEN ME AND A FRIEND WHEN WE WERE TRYING TO THINK OF REPLACEMENTS FOR FUCK AND SHIT** and that was The Life of Game. See you in the next book.  **_OH GOD THERES ANOTHER BOOK_ **

 

**final thoughts:**

**the life of game is the culmination of everything bad in my edgy 12 year old life. everybody is grossly out of character and the only differences between each character were appearance and the use of weird out-of-place references. i hate that i wrote this with my own two thumbs more than anything. this was essentially a self-indulgent piece of shit that was everything that i wanted to see in a fanfic, but if u like jello and u also like eggs ur not going to like jello and eggs mixed together. this fic is jello and eggs mixed together. i hate this so much i want it wiped from my memory but also it was hilarious to read**

**there was a second, unfinished (i think) part to this trilogy ill do a directors commentary on that in a bit probs**

**“but havent u made urself suffer enough” yes i have but consider this: i hate myself**

 


End file.
